Ah the outgoing introvert - the most complex and satisfying of all puzzles. Just read and get to know what you're getting yourself into before dating us, okay? Outgoing introverts, though still introverts at their core, often need to recharge after a large use of social energy.We have mad layers of depth and feelings…like an onion. After a long day of dealing with people, our social batteries are drained and we need to unwind and recover, usually alone.You’ll be surprised how much we actually live in our heads.People often confuse us for extroverts, but we're too introspective and over-think too much to be one.“Internet dating has leveled the playing field between extroverts and introverts,” says life coach and author Amy Bonaccorso.“In the past, an extrovert would be the life of the party and get the dates, but now, an introvert can impress someone with their excellent communication skills over email before meeting in person.” Introverts are so hot right now, don’t you agree?
We’ll always be naturally in tune with how you’re feeling, so we’ll be able to see through any front you put up and make you jump into the deep end. We tend not to outwardly express our feelings and spill our whole life story in the first hour of meeting you. But if we don’t, we’ll start to get really introspective and reflective, and tend to withdraw into ourselves. We dislike the barriers like small talk (which often comes with going out) creates between people, and try to avoid it at all costs.
In fact, any form of socializing has the potential to deplete these stores. You get to meet complete strangers (not always our strongest suit), who will then subject you to a barrage of intensely personal questions and judge you! There is good news too, but let’s get the bad news out of the way first. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket. You should never feel bad for treating them as such, and don’t let anyone tell you different. You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses.
Dating, fraught with the anxiety and possibility of rejection and/or romance, even more so. Doesn’t that sound like the ideal situation when you’re looking for true intimacy and affection? The discussion of introversion has only recently become part of the larger cultural dialogue.
There’s a problem with the one-size-fits-all wisdom commonly intoned during dating discussions (“Just put yourself out there! After jumping through the hoops of answering questions such as “where are you from? ” one too many times, you start feeling that dates are no longer probable sources of a deep, meaningful relationship, but rather deep, dark pits of despair. You tend to be sucked of all your energy as if you’ve been set upon by a Harry Potter dementor. Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either.
Because, as introverts, we often derive our energy from solitude and quiet contemplation in which to process life’s events, we have only so much social goodwill to go around. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me.