In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu'.
Other jokes to make the top 20 include a string of brilliant one-liners - and digs at wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.
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She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'It also features risqué jokes about religion, anorexia - and animal cruelty. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. 'I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".' 14. 'A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!
animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile? His winning one-liner was: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next! She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! I'll tell you what, never again.' The joke was later slammed as 'unfunny' on web forums. One Poll.com, the organisation behind the research, said: 'The majority of these jokes are clean and genuinely funny - but a lot are pretty subjective and what one person finds hilarious, someone else may not.''It's nice to see jokes from the greats like Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson are still up there and the ugly baby tale is a worthy winner.''Many of the jokes in the list are fairly timeless and will still be making people chuckle in thirty years or more.'''Tim Vine's Edinburgh Fringe Festival's joke is neither belly-laughing funny nor is it particularly shocking or controversial so it's surprising it was voted the best joke of the festival.'Being able to tell a joke is a fine art and telling a classic joke correctly in a pub full of people can be tricky.' Comedian Tim Vine smashed the world record for most jokes told in an hour with 499, beating the previous record of 362. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. 'I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one". My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. 'I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind? No matter how embarrassing they are for the children, Dad’s seem to find great pleasure in telling horrible jokes, the more lame the better, So if you want to re-live all those bad jokes in all their glory or you are a father hoping to brush up on a few favourites please browse our collection of Dad’s Bad Jokes.A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics? The older brother, who is 6, says, "Hey, at breakfast tomorrow, me and you should say a cuss word! " The mother grabs him by the ear and spanks him all the way up the stairs into his room. " A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens.