You need to direct your attention to where it does the most good: the people who are already checking you out. After all, dating is all about putting your best, most authentic self forward and we associate marketing with an attractive line of bullshit that’s intended to lure in a bunch of suckers eager to be separated from their hard-earned money.
Your messages can be awesome, but unless you have a profile that makes them stop and pay attention… So I’m about to impart to you the secret to online dating success: you need to quit thinking like a lover. Worse, when you bring “marketing” and “internet” together, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? You want as many people as possible coming to see your profile and you want to keep those people around long enough to dazzle them with your brilliance (or at least baffle them with your bullshit) and make them decide that yes, they attention, the kind you don’t want.
This is known as the similarity hypothesis, or the “birds of a feather flock together" effect.
For something that’s frequently hailed as the dating salvation for the introverted, the socially awkward, and the shy, sometimes all that happens is… Your winks and messages get sent out and all you get for your trouble is deafening silence.
In a previous post I summarized statistics showing that online dating is not only prevalent, but also slightly more successful than offline dating in producing stable (i.e., less likely to result in divorce) and satisfying long-term romantic partnerships. There is no definitive research on this question, but we can certainly engage in some informed speculations.
Below, I will present a list of possibilities, and look forward to your thoughts and feedback! Dating companies such as EHarmony and Ok Cupid argue that their proprietary compatibility algorithms enable users to sift through undesirable matches and identify the suitable ones.
“That doesn’t mean that the algorithms fulfill our intentions, which is to find a mate and to settle down into a long-lasting relationship.” Why do dating sites fall short?
The questions posed by the various sites are too rudimentary, Webb says, and they tend to focus on a grocery list of requirements.