For all intents and purposes, when it came to me, my parents were extremely lax.
This is probably because unlike my brother and sister, I always remembered to call and check in, in high school my social life consisted of debate tournaments and practically nothing else, and beyond that I was always capable of talking myself out of anything remotely fun if I thought it might upset someone.
That is, unless you count my first boyfriend – José – who, in the second grade, long-distance collect-called me from Puerto Rico and got me in a lot of trouble with my dad. But I think it’s worth revisiting these concepts within the context of romantic or sexual relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.
So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.
– where affinity groups can be together without the presence of the oppressor – exist: so that tough conversations can be had with fewer guards up, so that you can communicate thousands of ideas in a single collective sigh, so that you can cry together with those who don’t just sympathize, but empathize.
As hard as it may be, I encourage you to suck it up and hear them out without defending him or your relationship.First of all, it's important to discern whether your parents are expressing reasonable concern or judgment based on their own biases. Well, reasonable parental concern would be around issues that would create a sensational plot line for a Lifetime movie.For example: he's a drug addict, alcoholic, abusive, womanizer, extremely emotionally unstable, too old for you, liar, moocher, or has a criminal record.But when you start talking about cohabitation or buying a puppy together it's time to call mom and dad and dish.Also if this relationship ends call them and tell them about the split as well.2.